The weight of lies

The weight
of nothing
is what
you left
us to carry
across
the barren desert
of our broken hearts
the weight
of no goodbyes
the weight
of no lies
the weight
of all
the unknowns
that
can take us down.

Reunited

She won
him back
like a toy
at a fair
and square
spotlighting
a crisis
beyond compare
he's my only son
she tells the media
making note
she has none to spare.

Keep it clean

The pacts
we make
with ourselves
the do's
don't
not now
do not dare
today
who
besides
ourselves
would even
know
to clear
the cache
of this
consciousness.

Use by date

Expiration date
is 2024.

Wonder if
it will be
me
or the passport
first.

Godless

Bending
beneath
the weight
of it all
been beating
myself up
in excess
of
everything
words
wine
wishes
whethering
the gods
up above
if
then
what else?

Land of the free

Heat on high
hell below
home doesn't
look like
heaven
any more

Floating
on an ocean
blue
then black
bruised
bound
headed
to the strange
unknown

There it is
mecca
medina
miracle maker
kiss the
solid ground

Open the door
let us in
set us free
what else
can they say
when they
know not
this is
the devil's gate.

Keep your distance

The grapevine
crept too close
and
said too much.

He means a memory

I can
trace its lines
along
my fingertips

Cash poor
carefree
sliding on grass hills
in good clothes
good enough anyway

Driving down
a steep street
clocking 75
at least
catching air
their voices high
faster faster

Storms were
for playing tag
in their
bathing suits
rain for
rolling windows
down
not up

Tapping
morse code
through
their bedroom
walls
calling
I love you
through the halls

Of a home
more fixed
than broken
he liked to say

I love you
I love you more
I love you
more than chocolate

Dead silence
can't
top that

He means
more than a memory.

Cheap talk

Words
are
a currency
with
no
exchange rate.

Least likely

I woke
from a bad dream
it was
your school
calling to say
you would be suspended
for sniffing glue

Voted
least likely to sniff glue
you'd find the
dream funny
I figured
and
reached for my phone
to laugh
with you about it

That's when
it struck me
the nightmare
had already begun.

Worthy measure

Measuring
self-worth
in pounds
and inches
crow's feet
and crinkles
the mirror
is a liar.

Telling time

Five years

have come and gone

but the time

on my wrist

sits the same

his watch

can only tell

his time

Room for one

He only
has room
for
one homeless person
in his life

Gunnar
has a steady stream
of cars
who stop for him

How about
this guy
over there
the one
with the puppy

No he says
striding away
purposefully
with goodies
for Gunnar

I only
have room
for one homeless person
in my life.

Daredevil

Perched
on the precipice
of hopelessness
she dips
her head
to ask
what's down below

Desire
longing
dreams
intrigue
hope
despair
do you dare
need more

Drawing
her body close
she jumps
to fall
all arms
and legs
askew.

Parental pride

I made this
you say
gesturing
to your child

What
a work
of art
they'll wonder

Long fingers
thick lips
eyelashes
to his fingertips
I made it all

Oh
you want
to know how

I lay
on my back
and never
said no.

You don't have to act like a refugee

Glancing
sideways
the uni
beckons
you steady
your hands
behind the wheel

You
used to be
doctor
so and so
briefcase in hand
laser pointer in tow
leading
the next generation
against
a regime
you couldn't control

Which brings you
to where
you are today
cabbie behind the wheel

Welcome
to america
make it great
again
for all us
could you please?

What have we become?

Terror pools
in their eyes
wide
closed
behind
the bars
of a crime
they didn't commit
they don't know

Caging children
is all the craze
these days

Precious and small
they may be
now
But wait
just wait
until tomorrow

Their footprint
will leave
a mark
you won't forget

Dear god
what have we done
what have we become?

Re-vision

Revert to draft
is a setting
she wishes
for herself.

In reverse

Flitting about
the hours
like a butterfly
social
she crawls
back in
her cocoon
ready
to call it
a day.

You fool

You fool
with
your toilet tantrums
and troubled ways
flinging your shit
for the world to see

You fool
Careless
and cruel
how low
can you go
low
lower
lowest

Trapping children
in tents
dead
in the thick
of Texas heat

Rubbing elbows
with the beast

Breaking bonds
sowing hate
Making war
with our fates

We wake
each morning
to a fresh new hell
wondering where
on earth
you learned to spell

Monkey see
monkey do
you fool.

Compassion

Abrupt compassion
is apparently a thing
Ever since
she said the words
I've been
circling steps
around it.

Is there
another kind?

Curated
cultivated
curbed, perhaps?

One of everything

If I am
not careful
You'll give away
my very soul, he says.

It doesn't work
that way.

You
only give away
what you
don't need.

Swedish death cleaning
is obviously
not everybody's cup of tea. 

Alms for the needy

In this town,
it's hard to tell
the homeless
from the hipsters.

I nearly handed
a hairy hipster
a dollar
at the bus stop
today.

A bake sale for the babies

Kiss your children
goodbye
Pray
you'll see them again.

There's a killer on the loose
It's the NRA.

Marches
Mutiny
Madness

Money talks.
Pad their pockets
Pull their strings.

May I suggest
a bake sale?

Homeless, not nameless

You'll find him
on the corner
of 183 and Braker
Gunnar is his name
His sign says
he's legally blind
But he sees us
approach
each time we bring
a bag of food
a dollar or two
Next time
you see him
say his name
and he'll send you a smile. 

Tell them today

A eulogy
is an afterthought
their ghosts
can't hear
So tell them today.

Tell him today
how much his life means
as he sits at the breakfast table
shifting his restless legs.
Set a hand on his knee
and tell him
All the stories that matter.

Also tell him
that on the day
he decides
to dim the lights
on the only life you knew
you'll get a phone call
That will bring you to your knees.

Tell him
it will be his baby sister
on the other line
saying words you know
But can barely fathom.

Tell him
that it will be she
who stiffens her back
and straightens her shoulders
to bear the burden
Of losing him.

Tell him
that she and you
will walk through
funeral homes
shaking your heads
at the opulence
Nope, not him
until you get to the simple one
the one with the real frogs
at the bottom of a waterfall
You'll exchange a slight smile
and say
This is it.

Tell him
that in the days to come
you will walk through
the halls of his home
sifting slowly
through all his secrets
He's not going to like that.

Tell him
you will give away
almost everything
he ever loved
even his motorcycle
See how he likes that.

Tell him
that there will be days
when the sound of laughter
anywhere from anyone
will be the sound
of nails on chalkboard
For you.

Tell him
that as you
bring him home
cradling his urn
like a newborn
a thoughtless agent
will stop you at security
and want to know what it is
you are carrying.
That's my son
you'll whisper
in a scream
Only you can hear.

Tell him
all that
and more
and ask
Wouldn't he rather just please stay.

Performing to expectations

They are evaluating
your performance
like it is theater
for the workplace

In advance

Seventy five dollars
stood between the kids
and a real meal
Seventy five dollars
to pay the bills
Seventy five dollars
I didn't have
wouldn't have
not until payday
not on the new job
not for weeks anyway
The new job
I didn't yet have
The one
I was standing in the doorway for
So I asked a stranger
Ma'am may I?
Please may I
have seventy five dollars
In advance?
She wrote a check
like it was no matter
It was to me
A matter of desperation, that is.

Fistful of favors

I woke up this morning
with a heavy sigh
of gratitude
A fistful of favors
I owe the world
It's payback time, bitch.

Recluse (Part 3)

I have one of my own
a dead son, that is
Pleasantly plump Pam
with your face
painted in Spring
You're not the only one.
You're not alone. 

At my beck and call

I should've
named one of the children
Clarity
Or the dog
Clarity, come here
Clarity, stay
Clarity, give it a rest for Pete's sake. 

Let the mystery be.

Not the real me
You don't know her, she says.
I'd hate to know
you speak soft
and tread light
That you hold me up
and everyone you know
while you barely
steady your balance
I'd hate to know
that life and death
are laughable
to you
but you
revere both
especially death
that morbid motherfucker
I am glad I don't know
the real you
Let's just let the mystery be. 

Recluse (Part 2)

Her name is Pam
but she goes by Recluse
She announced it
at the block party
sitting down to sip a Corona
"My son passed away," she said.
The man in front of her
stared vacant
I want to ask how
touch her cheek
say something.
But I don't.
She's too far away
to ask about
the dead son on the doorstep.

Swipe left

It used to be
that a swipe was to strike
or to steal
These days
it is
to make a fleshy deal.

It's only words

A stray string
she pulled
unraveled my mind
Words land easy
when they carry no weight

What's your story?

What are you doing? I ask
Minding my own damn business, he replies. And you?

The theory of everyday things

There is plenty of advice out there
on how to be your very best
And none on how to be average
But it is the mundane
that moves me the most
Marveling at the theory of everyday things
The why behind the who.

Recluse (Part 1)

He turned up dead
On their doorstep
All 31 years of him
Overdosed on disappointment
despair and drugs
Imagine throwing on a robe
To fetch the newspaper
And finding your dead son
On the stoop instead.

Communists selling cigars

He says Cuba
Like it rhymes with scuba
Is India a communist country? he asks.
His accent is hard to follow
So I laugh and say, yes it is.
I have no idea what he just asked.
His surprise takes me by surprise.
A few minutes later I laugh
India is not communist.
I want to sell cigars
Take my number, he says.
I step out of the car
pretending not to hear that.

Damn dragonflies

Sugar must course
Through children's veins
Crystal pure
Sweet sweat
For dragonflies land
On their outstretched palms
Curl a knuckle
Under their legs
To let them climb on content
I recall how it felt
To be softly bit